Panel shares stories on National Survivors of Suicide Day
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| The 11th annual National Survivors of Suicide day was held Saturday across the country with a local event held at the Columbia County mental health building in Hudson. The quilt pictured, one of several Lifekeeper Memory Quilts that tour New York State, was created in 1998. (Andrew Amelinckx/Hudson-Catskill Newspapers) |
By Andrew Amelinckx
Hudson-Catskill Newspapers
HUDSON — The National Survivors of Suicide Day brought people from across the country and across the region together to give support and hope to those who’ve lost loved ones to the fourth leading cause of death among 18 to 65-year-olds in the U.S.
“It’s never an easy journey,” said Laura Davis, this year’s co-chair of the event. “You never have to walk it alone.”
Davis lost her brother to suicide just over two decades ago and volunteers with the Capitol Region AFSP.
Those who have lost loved ones are not alone. Nationwide more than 30,000 people die by suicide each year. In New York the number is 1,300.
Saturday’s event was held at the Columbia County mental health building in Hudson. This is the fourth held locally and the 11th nationwide.
Michael O’Leary, the director of community services for the Columbia County Department of Human Services, echoed Davis’ sentiments.
“You are not alone in this,” he told the dozen people in attendance who had lost husbands, siblings, children and friends.
The conference was linked to more than 175 others around the country and the world through a broadcast from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, which sponsors the event.
Survivors of Suicide Day was created by a U.S. Senate resolution in 1998 through the efforts of Sen. Harry Reid of Nevada, who lost his father to suicide.
The broadcast brought together five survivors who discussed their own paths to making peace with the loved ones they lost and themselves.
Each took a very different road — from shutting everyone out to starting scholarships in their loved one’s names — but all five seemingly came together in many respects, including a desire to help others who were going through the same journey and to fight the stigma of suicide and depression.
“I shut everybody out,” said Rob Desmond, who lost his older brother in 1997. “I up and left. I moved away.”
Eventually he went to a meeting with others who had lost a loved one to suicide and was able to begin to heal, ultimately joining the AFSP and helping others.
“Find someone to confide in,” he said. “Find communication.”
This sentiment was echoed by the rest of the panel.
“You are not alone,” said Carla Stumpf-Patton, who said that talking with other suicide survivors was like “standing on the shoulders of giants” for her.
She lost her husband while she was nine-months pregnant.
Another common thread was the desire to educate others about depression.
“I had the urge to educate them,” said Stumpf-Patton of people who spoke negatively of her husband after his death. “It wasn’t their place to judge him.”
She said that her husband’s death was a “measure of his pain. Nothing else.”
Psychiatrist Sidney Zisook, who was also featured on the broadcast, said that as many as two-thirds of those who kill themselves do so in the context of depression and in many cases the disease is undiagnosed and untreated.
Beyond people’s misconceptions surrounding depression and suicide, there also seemed to be a lack of understanding at how to give comfort to those who’ve lost someone to suicide.
Doris Smith, whose only son killed himself in 1992, said that simply giving her a hug, saying nothing, or taking her to lunch were things she found comfort in.
Zisook said that there were the “three H’s” that friends of people who have lost someone to suicide should follow. “Hug, hush, and hang out,” he said. “Be there for them.”
Afterwards, a number of people at the event in Hudson felt the panelists had captured the essence of their own experiences.
One woman said that she was going through the exact same emotions they had described, while another said she felt that hearing the stories of poeple going through a similar experience, as opposed to hearing from professionals, could help in the healing process.
For more information on the Grieving Survivors Support Group call (518) 828-6016.
Survivors can also contact the AFSP Capitol Region chapter at (518) 899-0021.
If you are depressed and need to speak with someone call the Columbia County Mental Health Department Crisis Line at (518) 828-9446 or the Samaritans Suicide Prevention Center at (518) 689-4673.
To reach reporter Andrew Amelinckx call 518- 828-1616, ext. 2267 or e-mail aamelinckx@registerstar.com.
“It’s never an easy journey,” said Laura Davis, this year’s co-chair of the event. “You never have to walk it alone.”
Davis lost her brother to suicide just over two decades ago and volunteers with the Capitol Region AFSP.
Those who have lost loved ones are not alone. Nationwide more than 30,000 people die by suicide each year. In New York the number is 1,300.
Saturday’s event was held at the Columbia County mental health building in Hudson. This is the fourth held locally and the 11th nationwide.
Michael O’Leary, the director of community services for the Columbia County Department of Human Services, echoed Davis’ sentiments.
“You are not alone in this,” he told the dozen people in attendance who had lost husbands, siblings, children and friends.
The conference was linked to more than 175 others around the country and the world through a broadcast from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, which sponsors the event.
Survivors of Suicide Day was created by a U.S. Senate resolution in 1998 through the efforts of Sen. Harry Reid of Nevada, who lost his father to suicide.
The broadcast brought together five survivors who discussed their own paths to making peace with the loved ones they lost and themselves.
Each took a very different road — from shutting everyone out to starting scholarships in their loved one’s names — but all five seemingly came together in many respects, including a desire to help others who were going through the same journey and to fight the stigma of suicide and depression.
“I shut everybody out,” said Rob Desmond, who lost his older brother in 1997. “I up and left. I moved away.”
Eventually he went to a meeting with others who had lost a loved one to suicide and was able to begin to heal, ultimately joining the AFSP and helping others.
“Find someone to confide in,” he said. “Find communication.”
This sentiment was echoed by the rest of the panel.
“You are not alone,” said Carla Stumpf-Patton, who said that talking with other suicide survivors was like “standing on the shoulders of giants” for her.
She lost her husband while she was nine-months pregnant.
Another common thread was the desire to educate others about depression.
“I had the urge to educate them,” said Stumpf-Patton of people who spoke negatively of her husband after his death. “It wasn’t their place to judge him.”
She said that her husband’s death was a “measure of his pain. Nothing else.”
Psychiatrist Sidney Zisook, who was also featured on the broadcast, said that as many as two-thirds of those who kill themselves do so in the context of depression and in many cases the disease is undiagnosed and untreated.
Beyond people’s misconceptions surrounding depression and suicide, there also seemed to be a lack of understanding at how to give comfort to those who’ve lost someone to suicide.
Doris Smith, whose only son killed himself in 1992, said that simply giving her a hug, saying nothing, or taking her to lunch were things she found comfort in.
Zisook said that there were the “three H’s” that friends of people who have lost someone to suicide should follow. “Hug, hush, and hang out,” he said. “Be there for them.”
Afterwards, a number of people at the event in Hudson felt the panelists had captured the essence of their own experiences.
One woman said that she was going through the exact same emotions they had described, while another said she felt that hearing the stories of poeple going through a similar experience, as opposed to hearing from professionals, could help in the healing process.
For more information on the Grieving Survivors Support Group call (518) 828-6016.
Survivors can also contact the AFSP Capitol Region chapter at (518) 899-0021.
If you are depressed and need to speak with someone call the Columbia County Mental Health Department Crisis Line at (518) 828-9446 or the Samaritans Suicide Prevention Center at (518) 689-4673.
To reach reporter Andrew Amelinckx call 518- 828-1616, ext. 2267 or e-mail aamelinckx@registerstar.com.
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